Dignity

– The way you exit a relationship is very important. You keep your dignity at all times. – said the mistress of seduction Dita Von Teese. – No matter how heart-broken you are, and I have been very heart-broken.

Me too, Dita, me too. Even though the word relationship wouldn’t truly apply in this newest case. More like a weird connection. A deep, whimsical connection. I’m drawn that way, drawn to him. Or was I?

Dignity. What a strong, will-powered word. Not soothing but somehow it provides a relief. And hope. Hope that there is more to you than feeling attached and lost without. Maybe it’s ego and pride, maybe protection.
I always felt that even though I believe in the kindness of strangers, there is also nobody who would protect myself besides me. Guarded. He said, I pull back when a certain level of emotional intimacy has been reached. That I should see a therapist.

I don’t think it’s true. The part about a therapist who would heal me. I believe in exercise. Like playing tennis without panties.